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Love Beyond Borders

My boyfriend was an Indian nationality, bachelor and we are working in same company. We've been together for almost 3 yrs. I'm a single mom, i have 1 daughter in Phil. Her dad died 8 yrs ago when she's just 1 year old. For 3 years we r happy together, only this month my boyfriend confess to me that his parents wants him to get married and they r finding a girl for him to marry. His very disturbed and asking me what he will do, he always tell me he dont want to hurt them, that all his life he always disobey them. He loves me but he dont know how to tell them about me. Please advise me,

Nick Replies:

It is a very challenging situation, especially if the guy is of an Indian origin. Considering the traditional affluence and belief systems it is going to be tough for your boyfriend to convince this to his parents. If he can confess and convince his parents then that's the best thing to do or else you guys have a tough decision to make. But whatever you do just be sure that it is the best thing to do because you have many more years in your life and your decision should be with complete focus on the future years to be happy. You be strong, very strong as you have a bigger responsibility of your daughter to be bought-up well.

Take Care.

Good Luck and God Bless


Confessions and confusions of a best-friend soulmate.

I have been friends with this guy for the past three years and we have been through a lot.I had developed feelings for him initially but never expressed it to him.However,he realised that on his own and tried to make me understand that things cannot be the way I want and that I should move on from him.He reasoned that he is not still stable financially and that I had better to do with life and it's options.Even after all this,we remained the best of friends and were inseperable. After some time,I decided to date someone and found someone who sparked an interest in me for him.He,in the meanwhile had tried to date a girl but things didn't work for him.When he came to know about this guy that I am interested in,and the guy wants to date me seriouly,he started reacting in a way he never did before.One day he almost went on the verge of proposing to me but controlled himself in the last minute.Some days later,on the day that I was about to be going for that date,he decided to express everything and said me things that made me realize that I wants me.Later on at that night,he told me that he needs me in life because I've been with him through his tough years and had kept him happy so far.Also,he went to an emotionally troubled phase post his last relationship and also he was still a student and was not financially stable,and so though he knew that I loved him,he could not decide to be with me.He said that he had wanted me to be happy in life and settle with someone "better" and more stable than him.And now when I am ready for giving that a try,he stops me because he realized my worth and could not let me go.He said he was sure that I was the one for him and things would be like this for him always.I have entered into a relationship with him after this,but I feel a bit troubled with the thought that whether he really loves me or not.Does our relationship has any long-term chances?I am afraid of losing him on any cause,because if we break up,we lose everything. Contrastingly,hadn't we entered into this relationship,we could have stayed the platonic friends forever,where,we had nothing to lose really.Does he stand the chances of being a stable partner for me?Is he really so sure about me finally?Are his feelings genuine?

Nick Replies:

This is a genuine and most commonest challenges when best friends of opposite gender get emotionally close. Before getting to his frame of mind or his thought process you have to sort out your thoughts completely. Answer yourself whether he is the guy whom you want to grow old with, whether he is the guy whom you would want to introduce to your family, whether he is the guy who would understand you completely and be with you in all phases of life. His emotions are something that is not in your control but the ones that are in your control is yours. Be sure about your thoughts. 

Now coming to his feelings and emotions, understand one thing emotions and feelings are just parameters that are momentary. At this stage of life he cannot imagine anyone else to be with him throughout. Both of you have probably become each others 'habit' and it is perfectly normal. The biggest mistake couples make is they over-analyze everything and get anxious too much about future. If you are sure that "he is the guy" go for it, but if you feel there are gaps or questions to be answered confront it with him. Life is not about loving or being loved, it is about "consistently loving and being loved". Financial challenges and instability most of the times are temporary and everyone gets atleast one break, which, if utilized properly can do all the magic.

To answer your question about genuineness and surety, go with your gut feeling. No counselor or friend can help you in this, it is you who will have to decide what works best and who suits you the best. And if you proceed with this relationship don't ever think about breaking-up because it is your own thoughts that would manifest into occurrences. So whatever you do in life do it with complete honesty and optimism, life will be fantastic.

Be happy always.

Good luck and God Bless! 

Should I move on? | Love Problems & Solutions

I have two problems mashed together in a way, I like this girl, extremely sweet, pretty, loving and just the  perfect girl but about 4 or 5 months ago before meeting said girl I liked a friend of mine, the thing is that I proposed to this friend of mine and she said no (i'm too childish) but she likes me, so I don't know if I should give it a shot the girl I just met because if I do then my friend might get jealous or she might get sad, so this said I don't know what to do.

Nick Replies:

Well, if you loved your friend then how come within a span of 4-5 months you started loving somebody else. I understand its all about emotions but I would recommend you to be clear about what you want in life. If you fall in love over and over agin then probably you are not loving a person enough. Talk about this with your friend and don't hurt her but don;t worry about what she would think as well, becuase there are things that you cannot control and you should leave it the supreme power to manage. My request is, if you find a friend in your soul-mate then thats the best combination.

Good Luck & God Bless

Sincere Love | Love Problems and Solutions

hi, i just want to hear some advise from you. i have a boyfriend who i think not trusting me.it just start as this, in my school thers a guy who courting me, he knows i have boyfriend and im not allowing him but he continued.one day he text me a message containing that he miss me.. the one who red that message was my boyfriend and i explained it to him who really that guy was. but he still not believing in my explanation, and until now he thinking of me bad. that im doing something whether im not. this make me feel so bad, and the effects this to me is imy self confidence is lessen cause i think anything i do will be bad to him..it's hurting me so much..


Hi,


I think you should spare sometime, talk with him and clear all his doubts. Even the biggest of wars can be solved with calm & composed discussions.


Good Luck and God Bless

Love, Lies & Sacrifice | Love Problems


Hi, While I was searching for some motivational quotes and videos, your blog appeared, and I am actually glad. I read all kinds of stories there but none matched with me which led me to write to you. Though my story is very confusing even to me, I bet it will be very confusing to you as well. So let me get straight to this problem. If you come from Indian or Nepali background, you get the idea on how our culture/tradition works. I have a relation with a guy who is lower cast and it has been more than a year. I come from a upper cast family plus we both are from a christian as well. Even though Christian people don't look for upper or lower but My dad does not want me to have any relations with him. Few months ago, my mom told my dad that I was having relation with him...after than, my dad went totally mad about it. I guess he can't accept him in future. My mom or any family members isn't like my dad... but the fact that my dad also has a bipolar disorder. I know he is sick but I feel he has to win on what he wants. He does not know how to surrender on anything. He has to be right and that's it. Also, I met my dad when i was 9 years now and started living with my parents since then.  My mom and dad lived separately for 14 years in different country. As of my dad's family, everyone tells that he was very bad; drinking and giving trouble to his family. I understand it was his adulthood but now he lives with his family....he needs to understand and learns to come into compromise also. I am 18 years now yet I have lost my hope on everything. For right now, there is no way that i can stay focus on my studies or anything.

On the other hand, I have lied to mom and other known people that i don't have any relation with him. Some believes, some don't. My boyfriend's family likes me...they are good to me... but my dad is totally against it... we are not going to marry even though he does not want it. Do you think I should give up or stay strong? My boyfriend is a very good person. I love my parents and boyfriend. I see a good future with him no matter what we should go through. I have been very strong till now balancing both sides because if i tell my boyfriend that he is lower cast and my dad is against it... he would get hurt and I don't want that. I don't think my dad will change either. He is in hospital now because of this.... I have said him that I don't have any relations( which is a lie because he said, he would die if i choose him)..... last week... he caught a photo of my boyfriend me and a mail that i wrote him...which drove him crazy plus his disease is also a problem... I have lost hope...  Tell me, what would be a best option to undertake?
Thanks to you!.. Hope I will get encouraged by your reply..waiting for it...

Nick replies:

It is not confusing but it is definitely complicated. Primarily if you want to be happy then be sure you will be happy with whatever decision you take. Coming to the dad first, ask him waht is the main reason he is opposing, is it because its a caste issue? or is it that he feels you do not have a good future with this guy? or is it that he doesn't want you to opt for love marriage?

Regarding the boy, if he is a good guy and if you can trust your life on him then do not lose this guy. Confront all the odds including your family and take it head on. Speaking with your family and say that if anything bad happens after marriage it will only be a damage to 2 lives, if something bad happens after you marry someone else it will be a damage to 4 lives.

Get to the root of the problem and then deal it.

Good luck and God Bless.

Love Swapper | Love Problems & Solutions


i am loving a guy from one year.last year sep he came into my lyf we became close in a short period after 3 months his ex has came into his lyf.then he started avoiding me.he has fully changed.now he is speaking to me.but just like a frnd.i cant live without him what to do?

Nick Replies:

If somebody treats you as an option never ever making him / her your priority. I think I answered your query.

Good Luck & God Bless

Not able to move on | Love Problems & Solutions

He is the one who loved me first when I start to love him he star changing and he broke up with me and after six months we we started dating again but at that six months we was having sex cuz I ask him if we could be friends with benefit cuz I don't want him to go with other girls and again he brok up with me I begged him but nothing changed it been 2 years now I can't forget him and when he wants me he call and I go we do our things as usual even when he huv girlfriend so what can I do I love him I try to stop thinking of him but I can't.

Nick Replies:

The toughest thing to do is not to miss someone. Well it comes with practice and being engaged in something that you would love to do. So primarily identify what are those things that would make you happy? It could be anyting right from calling up your mom, going out with firends, taking up a hobby, working out or anyting that would make your life better, the best thing to do all of the above.

Get going gal, life is beautiful and it needs to be cherished.

Good luck & God Bless

Should I move on? | Love Problems & Solutions

I have two problems mashed together in a way, I like this girl, extremely sweet, pretty, loving and just the  perfect girl but about 4 or 5 months ago before meeting said girl I liked a friend of mine, the thing is that I proposed to this friend of mine and she said no (i'm too childish) but she likes me, so I don't know if I should give it a shot the girl I just met because if I do then my friend might get jealous or she might get sad, so this said I don't know what to do.

Nick Replies:

Well, if you loved your friend then how come within a span of 4-5 months you started loving somebody else. I understand its all about emotions but I would recommend you to be clear about what you want in life. If you fall in love over and over agin then probably you are not loving a person enough. Talk about this with your friend and don't hurt her but don;t worry about what she would think as well, becuase there are things that you cannot control and you should leave it the supreme power to manage. My request is, if you find a friend in your soul-mate then thats the best combination.

Good Luck & God Bless