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Either To Wait Or Not

In a coaching class a mate a guy.. He is hardworking, honest there is no doubt about it. he started to sat with me daily in classroom bcoz i am so good in study. he cares me alot bcoz of thiz i started luv him..i thinked that he also luved me. due to this i propose him in msg..he didn't reply me bcoz he understand that i don't want to propose first. then next day he propose me and i said yes..his exam is on june and my exam is on dec..after propose we r so happy. after 2 month of met we get intimated not sex..but smooch and most of.. when i am asked him that can we marry in future he said not no not yes just say in village luv marriage is not allowed.. then after completion of course we get separated i just had a phone number of him and nothing else. he is from some city and i am from some city. few days after his number continuously get switched off. i was thinked that he just want romance from me no love.daily i cried..then when my revision class is start for dec exam he came just to met me that day he gives me letter that m not wrong. i always luv u..my no. gets blocked.. promise i never leave u.
everything is fyn between us..then he make fb id and do not tell me about this..but suddenly i know about that he make fb id..i was sad that he doesn't tell me about this. then i think its tym to check his loyality.. then from fake id of another gals i started talkinh wid him. he tells in fb that i never love someone else yet..
he started flirting wid that fb girl.he thinked she is unknown..then afterward i tell him that...she was mine not someone.. he tell me thats not good which u do..i just flirt nothing else..after that day he decided to leave me.. bt m not able to leave him.. i always begged him please stay and he bcoz of mine cry always stay wid me..but always we fight. he started to abuse me vry badly..he just want "ki kese bhi mujhe chodkar chli jaye"
then he thinked that "yh to bas shak karti hai. aur preshan karti hai..pure din iss ladki ko mujhse baat karni hoti hai..study nhi ho pati..mai apne sapne kaise pure kar pauga aise mai"..
then again one day he abused me like maa behn ki..i just thinked that why he abuse me. kya pyaar nhi karta. preshan bhut karti hu to kya abuse krega ...islie i decided to never call him..after 3 months of no contact..he call me for my result.. i said i failed but he passed d exam.. i said go to hell dhokebaaz than he said " aaj wo dhoke baaz hi tere dukh mai sath hai"..
after that a day everything again become good between us..he said" alag rehta tha that doen't mean tere se pyar krna b band kr dia"
just one truth also is that i always doubt on him... one day i tell him characterless and more that words that no one can tell to anyone bhut galat maine gusse mai kaha..but that doesn't mean i don luv him. i call him 40-50 call dailyy..always fight on call. always doubt on him but he never cheat on me..thats d fact...
he always more concentrate on his career his dreams. i always tell him to kiss me bcoz i thinked otherwise he goes to anyother gal. but wo samjhne lga yh mere pas bas kiss etc k lie hi aati hai...he always gone away when i tell him to kiss me..
then again we fight but after someday again i cried on phone call very badly because again he abuse me..then i cut call next day we both say sorry to each other. then he say " agar mai tujhe kabhi kiss etc karna chod du to tu mujhe ek pal bhi yaad nhi kregi" tu sirf attraction rkhti hai yhi sb chahiye tujhe mujhse ..pyaar nahi..pyaar kiss etc k bina b hota hai.." i said esa nahi hai. then he said ab jo tu khegi whi hoga.. i luv u..pr kbhi kiss etc ki mat khio..
then again everything is good b/w us..then again he cared me alot .and loved me than no one can love me ever...
but one day he after so many days after he come on net.. he not msgs me and online on whtspp and am get angry why he not msgs me.. then i tell him very badly u r characterless and more..he said m just talk my friend ..and i nt msgs u but u have d ryt to msgs me why u fight..then he get upset and tell me we talk on morning m not on good mood but m also on anger i told him vry badly then he delete m from his contact and blocked me..
that nyt am cried more and not slept..n call him full nyt..but he sleeped. today he see 100 call he abuse me u r mad sanki type ...m cried more. he finally said go away i don't want u for my life..
then till 6 month i said " mai kabhi shak nahi krugi..wapis aaja m sorry.." he said nahi rkhna mujhe kuch bhi. i always cried but he never melt again..always abuse mee..kehta " tu beshram pad chuki hai mujh jaise ladke ko jo tujhe abuse karta hai mujhe jese ko nikaal k fek de" but i never ...
he said naa mai tujhe khush rakh pauga aur naa tu mujhe.. i always loved u..tu hamesha mere pas rahegi but meri life ke raste alag hai.. tu mre career ar sapno ko pura nhi hone de rahi ...daily office tym p 50-60 call..never call n msg me.. he again write a letter for me on my bday that i always respect n love u but plz don't call n msg me.. main kisi ladki se pyar nhi karta tere alawa believe me.. bs phn n msg mat kra kr.. tu hmesa mre pass rhegi..i luv u...i cried but wo nhi mana..
now few days pehle his mobile stolen by a thieve. some of his frnd tell me that...he take a new sim but yet he doesn't gave his no. to me..not yet...
to kya ab wo mujhse pyaar nahi karta kya ..use ek baar bhi nhi lgta hoga kya ki wo kesi hai..Roo rahi hogi bhut n ol..mera Marne tak ka man karta hai ..what i do kya wo wapis aayga...aur kya mujhe usko iss bar maaf krdena chahiye..preshan mai karti thi but pyar bhi to bbhut karti thi yh wo janta hai..still usne abhi tak mujhe apna new no. nhi dia.. kya wo mujhe bhool gvya hoga,..plz help me m soo upset..kya kru..?


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I have an issue in understanding the language, requesting the community to help.

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